Where did i go wrong?
by dignityinflames
Summary: They're meant to be together, like soul mates. But, fate has other plans when an intervention comes between them, tearing them apart like it was never meant to be. Never underestimate the power of influence, it's much powerful than you think. The story will be better than the summary promise!


Prologue:Just let me go...**  
**

_**Disclaimer: This is all fiction! It's all made up! None of this has happened to them and I'm glad it hasn't! Also as much as I would love to own dan and phil, I sadly don't! (Also, sorry for any mistakes I've written this on my iPhone)**_

_**Warnings: swearing**_

Dan P.O.V  
Why do we waste our time on people who don't care about us? But they mean the world to us. It's funny you know, that betrayal never comes from your enemies but those who meant the world to you. Yet I did just that to you. Why didn't I listen to you phil? You were right all along about them and I was just too blind to see that. There was once love that hung here on the walls, it used to mean something to us, but now it's meaningless and means nothing to me anymore. You're not here with me. It's killing me.

It's 5:18 in the morning and the clock continues to tick away whilst my eyelids get heavier and heavier as my eyes continue to cry over you. You're hurting me and you just keep not knowing it. Seeing you smile at something that hasn't been caused by me. I can't help but feel jealous that it isn't me. But it's all my fault I know that now. I really shouldn't be jealous. It's been 6 months since we last spoke, since I stopped all forms of communication with you, I don't know why I did that. I know I screwed up, I can't even begin to fathom how sorry I am for not believing you or listening to you when you had my best interest at heart.

It's now six in the morning, I should be sleeping but instead I lie here awake thinking over all of the things I could have said and the things I won't ever get to say to you. It's been 6 months now, the echoes have gone in halls, it was the sound of usual conversations, but that's gone now. I wish they hadn't faded away. I miss them like i miss you. I'm not whole without you, you're my other part, I can't live without you it's just impossible. Just two hours now. Two hours before I get to see you. If it wasn't for school I would never get to see you and your beautiful eyes. God how I miss losing myself in them, they're like oceans once your in too deep, you're drowning.

I'm going to talk to you today. I want you back phil, I love you. I don't know how, you probably won't even talk to me. I wouldn't blame you though. I pulled my duvet cover off from body letting the warm air seep onto my skin, dragging my legs over the edge of the bed and sitting up. I had might as well get up I won't be going back to sleep anytime soon. I dragged myself up and walked towards the bathroom and switched the shower on. I gazed into the mirror just above the bathroom sink, admiring how red and tear stained my face looked. I hate looking like this as well as the feeling that tags along with it. I slipped out of my pajama bottoms and into the shower. I love to shower. I feel like I am entering into my own world as my feet caress the cool, smooth, slick tiles on the floor. The water warmed to perfection feels extremely good; Water is a playful, dynamic, powerful substance that shares itself with all of life. Water has a capacity for memory; water remembers the energy vibrations it encounters. We are energy vibrations. Our interaction with water, on a conscious and unconscious level affects its vibratory rate. The way that we interact with water is reflected back to us by water's physical and energetic states. It makes my skin burn with energy which makes me feel alive. It seems like taking a shower makes me loose the little bit of self control I possess. I open my bottle of raspberry shower gel, it's Phil's favorite, pouring it over myself whilst rubbing it in. I then washed it off and turned wash my hair quickly. Once I'd finished, I switched the shower off and stepped out, grabbing the towel quickly drying myself off and proceeding to wrap it around my waist. I trailed back to my room to dig out my uniform: a shirt, school tie and charcoal trousers I picked my phone up from the dresser to check for messages; 3 messages from Charlie. Great!1 wonder what he wants, he has already ruined my life and quite possibly the best relationship I've ever had.

- New Message-  
_Morning babe 3 xxx_  
Sent 6:15am

-New Message-  
_Babe are you awake yet? 3 xxx_  
Sent 6:45am

-New Message-  
_You fucking piece of shit! I know you're fucking awake, since you never seem to sleep. You're such an ignorant bastard you know that right? I will twat you one when I see you, you ignorant piece of shit! _  
Sent 7:15am

Shit! Is that the time? Did I really just spend 2 hours in the shower? I'm done for then when I get to school today and I'm going to be late! I haven't even straightened my hair yet! No, this can't be happening, I have to talk to phil before school! Looks like its hobbit hair for today then, phil prefers it, which I guess on day like today is a good thing. I quickly pulled my shoes on and ran to the door collecting my earphones, wallet, keys and bag along the way. I have half an hour to get there before the bell goes, so I ran as fast as I could to catch phil before form, although we're together in the same form but we sit far apart from each other and there's always an intervention stopping me from talking to him.

I finally made it to the gates of my school, where students started to pile in through the doors. I noticed phil entering the building, so I ran through the yard to the entrance door and down the corridor shouting after phil to stop and wait.

"PHIL" I shouted, gaining the whole corridors attention to stop and stare at me...great. Phil carried on walking like he never heard me. I picked up my pace and managed to catch up with him. I pulled on his arm to make him stop and turned him around so he was facing me

"Phil, I know you heard me, why didn't you stop to talk to me or even acknowledge me?" He looked at the ground nervously whilst scratching the back of his neck

"You haven't spoken to me since December, well you have but it's in insult form and I really can't deal with it right now, so if you really don't mind we kinda have to go to form you know how mrs hall hates it when we're late, also shouldn't you be with liam and Adam, after all you're dating the first one" he was beginning to walk off again, but before he could I grabbed hold of arm once again to stop him.

"Phil, we have 15 minutes before form starts I highly doubt we will be late since we're right outside the door! I don't particularly care about them arseholes to be quite honest" That's what I loved about phil, always time conscious, not that I'd tell him that.

"Well you've got my attention now, what do you want?" Harsh much... I can't blame him though

"Can we go to our hideout to talk? Please?" There is an abandoned room in the school which no one knows about apart from me and phil oh and charlie. We used to go there every time we had a break, lunch or had a free lesson.

"It's not OUR hideout anymore dan, it stopped being our hideout the day you stopped talking to me, the day you and the others decided I was no longer good enough to be around and not even good enough to date you anymore" that hit a nerve...

"That isn't true!" I could feel tears starting to form in my eyes threatening to fall. I couldn't let them fall, not now.

"It's true though, you know it is. But I will go to your hideout though, like you said 15 minutes before form, might as well do something before I go to sit in hell" the tone of disgust slid from down from his tongue like what he just said was poison.

"Form isn't hell you know" who am I kidding? Of course it's hell

"It is to me..."

From then we walked in silence to the hideout. It wasn't a comfortable silence yet it wasn't an awkward silence. Our hideout is an old classroom just at the end of the corridor which no one uses anymore. It's only a short walk from our form room. The reason why it's abandoned is because it belongs to the old building it's attached to, it was scheduled to be knocked down years ago, but it never happened so it was marked as out of bounds not that it stopped us using it though. As we approached the double doors leading to it, we stopped and quickly looked around for anyone nearby, there wasn't anybody there so we went in. Phil closed the door carefully behind us so no one knew we were in here. We stood there in silence waiting for the other to talk. I opened my mouth to say something but no words came out, I had so much to say, I just don't know how to say it.

"It hasn't changed much then" he diverted his eyes away from me and darted them around the room taking in the feel of the room. The walls are covered in band posters, Pokémon and game posters. There are two sofas towards the back of the room along with a piano, snooker table and a whiteboard filled with doodles and drawings.

"No, not really we couldn't really change it" really dan? Is that all you could say? You knew you could've changed but chose not to because of phil.

"Why? You always hated the way it's been arranged, you could've changed it when you LEFT me" A heart breaking isn't always as loud as a bomb exploding.. Sometimes it can be as quiet as a feather falling.. And the most painful thing is, no one really hears it, except yourself and phil just lit the fuse to the bomb that is my heart.

"There must be a reason you asked me to come here with you...what is it?" He asked nervously, twitching his hands as spoke, walking towards the sofa closest to the back wall with me trailing behind him. He sat down and placed his bag on the floor behind the arm of the sofa. I joined him and did the same with mine, but I just put mine on the opposite side of the sofa. I took his hands into mine and I turned to face him

"I need to talk to you. I need to explain what happened, why everything happened" i just want you to hear me out...

"Explain what dan? How you broke my heart? How you cheated on me with charlie? How you chose him over me? How you believed everything he said? How you left me all alone when I needed you most? How you believed that I would spread hurtful rumors about you around the school? I still remember the pain of December dan... There is nothing left for you to say it's too late" I expected him to rage at me, out right shout at me I deserved it. But he didn't, he was so calm. He never lost eye contact. At that moment I felt my heart explode into a million pieces. I never knew I hurt the only person, I have ever cared about, so badly.

"That's what I wanted to explain to you. Please just hear me out ok? Please it's never to late to try! Please!" tears fell down cheeks uncontrollably, I need to explain everything to him, I have to explain.

"What's left to explain dan? I hate you for giving up on me. I hate you for giving up on us. I hate you for hurting me. I hate you for making me cry. I hate you for leaving me. I hate you for not being there when I needed you the most. I hate you for what you've done. I hate you for ruining everything we had. I hate you for making me trust you when you were just gonna break that trust. I hate you for making me love you so much. Mostly, I hate you for making me a fool because I still love you despite everything you put me through" with that he burst into uncontrollable tears. I grabbed him and pulled him into the tightest hug not wanting to let go. I felt him hesitate to return the hug but he did and he hugged me back with same amount as I had put in.

"Y-you still love me? Did I hurt you that badly? You hate me? I'm so sorry phil! I came back here that day you know, thinking you were here. You weren't, you had gone and this place was empty without you, I got so angry that you left, he said it was all your fault, I believed them and I blamed you for everything that happened to me when it was him. I realize that now I was wrong and I-I'm sorry!" I cried into Phil's shoulder and hugging tighter and tighter as though if I let go he would disappear. We both cried into each other's arms

"I know what emptiness feels like, it's like the hole you left me when you said we meant nothing all, do you know how much that hurt? Did it seriously take six months to realize that he was the liar? That I was actually telling the truth? Yes dan I hate you with a passion. You made me feel so worthless" I looked up from Phil's shoulder and gazed into his sapphire eyes with our arms still around each other.

"I-I'm so sorry I made you feel like that. You mean everything to me, we meant something. Surely I still mean something to you, you said you still loved me. I never meant to make you feel like that! I swear!"

"Yes you did. But you know what dan, it's not what you meant to me because you did mean a lot to me you know? You meant the world to me and I thought we were meant to be. But I was wrong. I do still love you though, I don't know why though. I don't think there is anything left you could say really, I'm sorry dan it's too late" phil tried untangle himself from me to leave, but I restrained him from doing so.

"Phil! Please! No! Don't try and leave, we have to talk! It can't be too late! Please tell me how I can fix this? Please? I can't be too late, it's never too late" my hands now gripping his arms as a means to hold him down so he can't leave me

"Dan...I've trying to break free those memories which you seem so persistent in bringing up again, I've got to let it go it's killing me! You're killing me!"

"What are you trying to say phil..." Please, please don't let it be what I think it is

"I'm letting it all go; you, the memories, them, everything." He looked up at me with his tear stained face, his eyes gazing into mine

"You can't let me go phil, I thought you loved me! You said you loved me! I love you phil! Love is never too late! Please don't let me go" he can't leave me, he just can't. I cried harder, I can't lose him forever.

"You let me go months ago, when you left me, so I did the same. I set everything we ever had on fire because it was killing me every time I thought about you and I said goodbye to that I had to. Watching it burn to pieces felt like I burnt a hole in my heart But now, its like your filling the hole back up again. So, when it's right, you will always know. Well I hope you'll know. So this time I won't let go, if you won't." I couldn't help but smile at his last comment, I won't ever let him go. The pain of losing him the first time was hard enough.

"I won't phil, I love you too much to do that. I guess theres only one thing left here to say then that love really is never too late" I took his face in between my hands and pulled him closer towards me slowly closing the gap between us until our foreheads were touching. I clambered onto Phil's lap so I was straddling him and I wrapped my arms around his neck as I felt him wrap his arms around my waist. Phil closed the gap between us and kissed me. It was amazing. People always over exaggerate kisses with how sparks fly and how it feels right, well they aren't wrong! I felt like my insides are on fire with fireworks exploding in every direction. You know it feels so right to be kissing him once again. I've missed this feeling. Being so close and intimate with phil and this feeling of a burning passion, why did I give this up? Whenever I kiss liam I never feel like this, I feel nothing but emptiness it's not even enjoyable. Phil pulled back and looked at me as to say if it's ok to kiss me, so I reconnect our lips but this time it was filled with passion and love. Phil took the kiss deeper by trailing his tongue along my bottom lip begging for entrance which I craved for, i granted him just that by opening my mouth and letting him slip his tongue into my mouth whilst we both battled for dominance, I won the battle so I began to familiarize myself again of how good he tastes; toothpaste and coffee always my favorite combination. I could feel phil smile into the kiss as our tongues along with each other, I couldn't help but smile back at him it was an actual genuine smile which I didn't have to force. After what felt like forever we broke apart from each other for air. We just sat there and gazed into each other's eyes, getting lost in their depth.

"W-what are you going to do charl-" I cut him off before he could finish his sentence by placing my finger over his plump lips.

"Don't worry about him, I don't love him. I never have done, never will do. I used him to get over you because I thought you betrayed me and I know now that you didn't. Where did we go wrong phil? We still need to talk about it"

"I don't know dan, you tell me" half laughed toward the end of his sentence

"Where do I begin to explain?" I don't how I can explain where it went wrong because I really don't know where we went wrong. Was it when we met Charlie or was the events after meeting him?

"Start from the beginning then, that would be a good place to start"

"Okay...well-"


End file.
